


If You Loved Me

by Shenandoah76209



Category: Glee
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-13 23:36:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16481906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shenandoah76209/pseuds/Shenandoah76209
Summary: If you loved me you would... How many times has someone said that... and how often does someone give in. Finn wants what he wants...and Rachel loves him. He loves her. Doesn't he? Starts out as Finn/Rachel but does not end the same way. You've been warned!





	If You Loved Me

**At the Beginning**

The single most perfect moment of her life had been at Regionals, right before the duet, when Finn told her he loved her. She'd been happy, she'd felt wonderful and then she'd sung her heart out.

It was all downhill from there.

They'd lost. Badly. That had been crushing.

Then Quinn had given away Noah's baby and that had almost destroyed him. Rachel didn't have the words for what Noah's pain did to her. She might be in love with Finn, but Noah was the one who'd stood up for her and stood by her and serenaded her. She'd gone to hear the results but the moment the loss was announced Rachel had gone back to the hospital to be with Noah.

He'd been staring at his daughter through the window. She'd never seen him look so simultaneously sad and filled with joy. His expression was filled with wonder and love and fear. "Hey Rae," He muttered and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Isn't she beautiful?"

"She's lovely Noah," Rachel smiled. "She has your mouth." Beth was a beautiful baby, now that the red had slowly faded from her face.

"Yeah," He'd shuddered. "Quinn's already signed the papers. She's giving her up. I don't even get a say."

"I'm so sorry Noah," She hadn't know what else to say. "If you ever want to talk...we can...I don't know..."

"Bitch about Beth's new mom together?" Noah had given her a half smile. "Yeah, I'd like that Rae."

Rachel had tentatively returned the smile. Noah had started calling her Rae when they were alone. She liked it, it wasn't Rachie or Rache it was Rae, like her name was cool. And Noah was the only one at school who called her that. He'd picked it up from her dads the week they dated. She'd always called him Noah, ever since they'd met at JCC when they were kids, before he'd started going by Puck.

* * *

 

“Hey Rache,” Finn greeted her with that sweet smile she loved so much. “That’s what you’re wearing?” He seemed confused by her outfit.

She looked down at her skirt and blouse, she’d foregone knee socks since it was warmer in favor of a pair of flats. The blouse was one of her favorites black with tiny white dots and it went nicely with her black skirt. “I, yes?” Rachel frowned uncertainly, “Is there something wrong with it?”

“I just doubt anyone else is gonna be wearing a skirt,” Finn shrugged. “But you look real pretty anyway.” He watched as she grabbed her purse and held the door open for her.

She smiled as he opened the car door and shut it behind her. Her first actual party, not for Glee or at the JCC. Finn had said Santana was having a party at her house and she’d invited everybody. Normally she’d be nervous of attending an event with jocks and Cheerios but if Santana had invited everyone then the Glee kids would be there and she’d see Noah as well. Surely she’d be safe enough with them around.

* * *

 

When they entered the house the music didn’t stop and there was no deathly silence as everyone stared at who Finn had brought as his date. She got a few odd looks from guys and more than a few sneers from the girls as Finn brought her back to the kitchen and got them both cups of beer. Noah was there, sipping from a red plastic cup along with Matt and Mike. Finn greeted the three of them with grins and back slapping and began to tug her back out of the room. She hung back a little and asked the boys if they’d seen Tina or Artie or Brittany and they’d shaken their heads.

Rachel had felt a knot forming in her stomach but she’d let Finn pull her out of the kitchen and keep an arm around her waist. She quickly learned that the cup of beer was excellent protective coloration and as long as she kept it no one would try to give her more. Finn had started talking to some of the boys on his football team and she couldn’t exactly follow the conversation but she could listen as attentively as she could.

Then one of the boys had made a wild gesture and sent his beer and hers all down her front. Her thin blouse was now clinging to her body and she reeked of beer. Wrinkling her nose she didn’t object when Finn began to guide her upstairs, presumably where she could at least try to undo some of the damage. She wasn’t entirely comfortable when he pulled her into a bedroom and began kissing her.

It wasn’t that she didn’t like the kissing, Rachel thought to herself as she kissed him back. She liked kissing. Finn’s mouth was soft and wet until he got going and then he starting pushing her back onto the bed. That wasn’t so bad, he was lying half on his side, while she was on her back and his hands were on her waist. The kissing was still nice. She felt his hand slide up her ribs and cup her breast and stiffened slightly. That was a little unnerving. His hand was so heavy, she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

“Finn, stop that,” She pulled her mouth from under his and scooted away, grateful that the bed wasn’t lengthwise against the wall and she had somewhere to scoot away to. “I’m not ready for that.”

“But I love you,” Finn was looking at her, confused, puppy dog eyes. “Don’t you love me?”

“You know that I do,” Rachel nodded. “I’m just not ready for that. This is only our first date.” He’d set his jaw but nodded and got up and left the room. She’d watched him go and wondered if that was their first fight. But it couldn’t be, she’d explained hadn’t she? And he hadn’t gotten mad, he just hadn’t said anything. Thankfully she’d worn a black camisole type tanktop under her blouse because it was just a touch sheer and she could wear that with her skirt.

Stuffing the blouse in her purse and sneaking down the stairs to the kitchen made her feel like she wasn’t supposed to be at the party but she couldn’t see Finn anywhere in the living room. If he was getting another beer he’d be in the kitchen.

He wasn’t. Noah was still there, along with a football player she didn’t know. She must have looked a little lost because Noah grinned at her and held out a hand. When she took it to shake in greeting he just chuckled and tugged her forward so she could lean against the counter next to him. “AZ, you met my homegirl Rachel?” He asked with a smirk, “Rachel, this is Azimio, he’s one of the lineman supposed to keep Finn’s ass from getting sacked. Azimio, Rachel Berry, future Broadway star and McKinley’s biggest secret weapon.”

Rachel couldn’t help giggling and shaking her head, “Nice to meet you Azimio.” She offered her hand and the big jock took it in confusion.

“So why’s Puck call you the secret weapon?” The linebacker asked curiously.

“’Cause she’s a fuckin’ genius man,” Puck chuckled. “Girl has mad skills for plotting and manipulatin’ folks. Got Figgins wound around her little finger for fear of the ACLU.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze before taking another sip of beer. “Girl got us a commercial. Glee’s been on TV an’ everything.”

“I thought it went well for a completely spontaneous performance,” Rachel conceded. “Even if we couldn’t keep the payment.”

“Yeah that sucked,” Puck agreed. “Weren’t you wearin’ a blouse earlier?” He appeared to notice her tanktop for the first time. His gaze as he did a double-take was both admiring and confused.

“Someone spilled beer on me,” Rachel shrugged. “Both my cup and theirs. The blouse is in my purse.” She folded her arms and pressed them against her stomach, “Finn took me upstairs so I could change.”

She could feel Puck eyeing her thoughtfully and when she didn’t say anything else he nodded and tugged at her hair, “So why didn’t you come to the game?”

“The basketball game?” Rachel clarified and saw the unkind smirk on Azimio’s face. She ignored the football player and smiled up at Puck, “I had to get my homework done before my dads would let me go out.” She said quietly. “That was the first reason.” She’d had her homework done on Friday night so she could sleep in a bit on Saturday morning before her advanced dance class.

“Yeah right,” Puck said slowly. He knew her homework habits, he’d texted her often enough on Friday nights. “C’mon out here,” He tugged her onto the back porch, more of a deck really, leading out to a yard and sat her on a bench at the edge of it. “What happened?”

Rachel could feel herself turning pink and if she was very unlucky the blush would continue until she was bright tomato red, “Noah.” She shook her head.

“Did he…” Puck took a deep breath and let it out. “Why didn’t you come to the game?”

“Finn didn’t want me there, he was afraid I’d embarrass him,” Rachel admitted. “He asked me not to come.”

“Fuck him,” Puck said bluntly. “Did you want to come?”

“I don’t usually enjoy sports but I would have liked to see you guys win,” Rachel admitted quietly. “I’ll come to the next one and sit in the back quietly so I can watch. I won’t yell or anything.”

“You’re supposed to yell,” Puck shook his head. “Okay, what did he do when he took you upstairs?”

“Nothing you didn’t try to do when we were dating,” Rachel put him off and wasn’t prepared for a very dark scowl to crease her friend’s handsome face.

“What did he do Rae?” Puck looked at her, “Just tell me.”

“He backed me onto the bed when we were kissing and after a few minutes he put his hand on my breast,” Rachel admitted. “I told him to stop and that I wasn’t ready so he stopped. Then he left.”

“And you put your wet shirt away and came down to the kitchen,” Puck surmised and swore softly. “Okay Rae, you know me an’ him aren’t exactly solid anymore. Right now, I really don’t care about him so much as I’m worried about you. Don’t let him…” He sighed and Rachel was surprised to see his expression was really concerned. “Just don’t let him talk you into anything you don’t really want all right? You didn’t with me, you can stand up to him too.”

“He loves me, he told me so,” Rachel said softly. “No one’s ever said that to me before.”

“I know,” Puck nodded. “Just, you know, try, okay?”

She nodded and he’d brought her back into the party, finding Finn hanging out with Quinn and Santana and some of the football players. Puck looked at Rachel and she made her way around the group until she was standing beside Finn and Puck took a spot behind her. For the rest of the night Finn paid her only the barest amount of attention while he drank beer after beer. Finally he was ready to go home as the party was winding down and Rachel frowned.

“I don’t think you should be driving Finn,” She said quietly once he was near the front door and fishing out his keys.

“You’re not my mother Rachel,” Finn’s boyishly handsome face wrinkled into a slightly derogatory expression. “Gimme a break.”

“All right,” Rachel nodded. “Give me the keys.”

“I’m not letting you drive my car,” Finn shook his head and Rachel folded her arms.

“You’re drunk. You shouldn’t drive,” She frowned up at him. There was no way she’d be able to get the keys off of him, he was bigger and stronger. She reached for the key ring anyway and Finn just held them up out of her reach.

“I’ll do what I want,” He slurred.

“Fine,” Rachel set her jaw and reached for the front door. “But you will not drive me home.” She stalked out of the house and looked around to get her bearings. She was at least three miles away from her own house. Much as she hated to walk home in the dark she didn’t think she had much of a choice.

“Hey Berry,” The football player she’d met earlier called her name and she blinked. The big boy was standing next to Puck by his beat up old truck. “What’s up?”

Rachel shrugged and walked over to them, they’d parked on the opposite side of the street, “Finn’s drunk. I tried to take his keys but…”

“Yeah, he gets stupid when he drinks,” Puck said with an air of experience. “Get in my truck okay? I’m givin’ AZ a ride home anyhow, easy enough to drop you too.” He held the door open and helped her in, “AZ, c’mon we gotta make sure our quarterback don’t kill himself drivin’ home.”

Rachel watched as her friend and the bigger boy strolled nonchalantly towards the house. It wasn’t five minutes later that they came back out, a satisfied smirk on Puck’s face and a grin on Azimio’s. “From your expression can I assume mission accomplished,” She asked leaning over to open the door for Puck.

“Yeah, dumbass forgets he’s taller but I’m faster,” Puck smirked. “He’ll pass out before he finds his keys in the silverware drawer.”

Azimio was laughing and shaking his head as he climbed in the cab and settled himself next to Rachel, “I can’t believe he tried to deck you man.”

“Aw he does that every time he drinks,” Puck shrugged as he turned the keys in the ignition. “He’s still pissed about Quinn.”

“Yeah ‘cause you did that all by yourself,” Azimio muttered.

“The way Quinn acted towards you it should have been parthenogenesis,” Rachel agreed angrily.

“Part what?” AZ was looking at her weird again as Puck barked out a laugh.

“It’s a fancy word for virgin birth,” The Jewish boy explained still chuckling. “My girl knows all the SAT words.”

“Oh yeah?” Azimio had taken that as a challenge and the ride to his house was spent in laughter as he came up with more and more words for Rachel to translate into superior vocabulary.

“Horny,” Was the last one as he hopped out of the truck and turned to look at her curiously.

“Libidinous,” Rachel giggled back at him and AZ groaned as he was stumped.

“See ya man,” Puck shook his head and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “He’s okay really. Just don’t really feel like he fits in you know?”

“I know the feeling well,” Rachel nodded. “Thank you for the ride.”

“Hey anytime,” Puck nodded. “And if you’re somewhere I ain’t, you call me. Don’t ever get in a car with him if he’s been drinking.”

Rachel nodded, “I’ve still got your number in my phone.” She agreed.

“Good.” Puck had dropped her off, waited until she got inside and waved before his old truck pulled away.

* * *

 

**Feels Like the First Time**

Rachel forced her hands to her side so she wouldn't fidget with the sarong she wore. The wrap was supposed to be worn at the hip with a bikini top but after Finn had been so dubious about her swim suit she really hadn't felt confident enough to wear it like that. He'd told her she looked pretty but that maybe she didn't have the right body for a bikini, she wasn't very tall.

He'd been happy enough when she'd retied the sarong so it was more like a strapless dress than a skirt and his hand had squeezed her ass approvingly. It had been months of dating Finn and she'd slowly allowed him more and more liberties. She'd been overwhelmed sometimes, and nervous at others but he'd always stopped when she asked.

Noah had been around a lot, never when Finn was, but that was to be expected. The two boys weren't getting along these days unless they and some of the other football players were having a video game marathon or summer practice they didn't talk much. And Rachel got the impression there wasn't much talking then either.

The pool party was at Brittany's house, and since it was a weekday Noah was working. Rachel sat down on a lounge next to Finn and tried not to stiffen up when his big hand cupped her knee and thigh together. He had a cup of beer in his hand and Rachel barely kept herself from wrinkling her nose.

Brittany was nice at least, and Rachel enjoyed talking to her while Finn talked football or something. It was strange to not be in school, though she still had ballet and voice and the community theatre. It was even stranger for Noah to not be at a party but he was working hard this summer. He'd explained that most of the summer he spent working at either the garage or with pool cleaning because once winter hit he'd only be part time at the garage and the pools would go away. He could do snow shoveling and gutters but until he saved enough for a plow to attach to his truck he couldn't pick up as much money in the winter. She'd nodded and said she understood and he'd smiled at her and promised that he wouldn't spend all summer getting wasted and they'd spent Sundays together and see each other at the JCC and Synagogue.

Rachel smiled when Brittany suggested they sit on the edge of the pool and dangle their feet, "The water is still pretty cold on the deep end so I don't want to go in yet." The blonde Cheerio explained. "But it's just warm enough for my toes after the hot concrete."

The water had felt good after they'd kicked off their flip flops. A few of the boys got up the nerve to jump in the water and Rachel shuddered. She and Brittany exchanged glances that clearly indicated their agreement that boys were crazy. But they were football players and intent on proving they were macho and manly. Rachel thought they were just proving their stupidity.

A hand wrapped around Brittany's ankle and she shrieked in shock jerking her foot away only to have Azimio pop out of the water and laugh. "Gotcha Britt," He teased. "Hey Secret Weapon," He greeted Rachel with a grin.

"Hi AZ, how are you?" Rachel smiled.

"I'm fuckin' freezin' is what I am," AZ admitted bluntly. "I am getting out, lie on the concrete and soak in the heat." He suited action to words after toweling off.

Rachel turned to see how blue his lips were when a hand grabbed her ankle and yanked hard. Her startled shriek had barely emerged from her lips before she was yanked into the pool, water filling her mouth and lungs. Finally she managed to kick loose and struggled up to the surface grabbing for the edge of the pool only to be pulled down again. The second time she kicked free there was a hand waiting for her and she grabbed onto it.

Azimio pulled her out of the water and began to hit her back until the water in her lungs was coughed out. "Geez, are you okay," He asked and Rachel couldn't answer as she coughed out the rest of the freezing water.

Brittany brought her a towel and wrapped it around her while Azimio helped her stand. Finn, hauled himself out of the pool and came over, "Rachel are you all right? It was just supposed to be a little joke."

"You did this?" Rachel sputtered out the question in shock.

"No!" Finn denied hurriedly and Rachel took a deep breath and understood that he'd just watched it happen.

"I'm all right," Rachel said quietly to the hovering Brittany and Azimio. "Just really cold."

"You need to warm up," AZ nodded. "Man you should take her home, let her get in a hot shower or something."

Finn nodded though Rachel could tell he didn't want to leave the party, "No, its all right, if you can warm up on the concrete so I can." She smiled at Brittany, "Did the waterproof makeup live up to its name or do I look like a raccoon?"

"You look cute," Brittany grinned at her. "C'mon, we'll get spread out and warm."

Rachel nodded and let herself be arranged so she could chat with Britt who was carefully keeping her feet out of her own pool.

When she was warmed up finally she was glad she'd brought a hair tie since hers was getting hopelessly curly and wavy from the sun and the water. And when Finn brought her home her dads were gone and he'd followed her up to her room.

Being taken in his arms and told she's beautiful while he peeled the top of her bikini off hadn't felt as wonderful as she thought it would. But he said he loved her. And she loved him. So she let him back her onto the bed and tried to breathe through the weight of his hands and chest pressing down on her. When he pushed his swimsuit off she didn't tell him to stop. And when she felt more than a little nervous as he took off her bikini bottoms she didn't say anything. Finn is naked and his body pressed down onto hers and all she could think was that this was scarier than she thought it would be.

"Finn...please stop now," Rachel shook her head as his hand squeezed her ass. "I don't..."

"Rachel, why didn't you say something before I took off your swimsuit, or mine?" Finn was a little irritated.

"I...didn't think I'd be so nervous," Rachel admitted. "I'm really scared Finn."

"But I love you," Finn looked at her hopefully. "Don't you love me?"

"Of course I do," Rachel wondered why he always had to ask, why he always said that when he... She took a deep breath. He'd said it before the competition, before they sang, he didn't only say it when he wanted something. "Do you want me to...use my mouth?" Inwardly she cringed. Finn loved that she had no gag reflex but he also took that to mean he could just push back and forth in her mouth and all too often he'd misjudged when he was going to come.

"Rachel, you let me get you naked; you let me get naked and we're alone in your house on your bed," Finn had a note in his voice that said he was trying for patience. "If you loved me you wouldn't tease me like this. If you loved me you'd be willing to take this step."

Rachel nodded slowly, "I won't do it with you unless you're wearing a condom." She said flatly. "I'm not taking the chance of getting pregnant." That made him pale but he nodded and she handed him the condom. It took him a bit to get it on and finally Rachel looked at him, "Do you want me to help?" He'd flushed a bit and finally gotten it on properly and pushed her back on the bed.

His kiss had been hard and heavy on her mouth and his hands had squeezed her breasts and hips. When Finn settled between her legs Rachel tried not to stiffen up, tried not to be nervous or afraid as she felt his cock pushing at her. It seemed to simultaneously take forever and yet go so slowly as Finn pushed forward into her body. She knew when he was completely inside her because it felt as if she was burning, painfully, from the inside and Finn stopped moving with a choked groan.

Then he moved again, pulling out and pushing back into her and God it hurt, she tried to close her legs, to keep him out but his hips held her thighs apart and her movements only seemed to encourage him. Rachel closed her eyes tightly as his hips moved faster, and sighed in relief as he uttered a strangled gasp and stiffened over her before he stilled. She watched as he pulled out and discarded the condom in her desk wastebasket before pulling his swimsuit back on. Rachel drew her legs together and pulled the throw blanket at the bottom of the bed over her body.

Finn just grinned at her, that goofy grin she was starting to hate and kissed her. "That was really great Rache, I'll see you tomorrow okay? We'll do it again."

"No," Rachel shook her head.

"Okay, well I'll call you and we'll do something together the day after. So long as we end up back here," Finn grinned at her. "I've got to get going though okay?"

"Good bye Finn," Rachel had never felt like this, so absolutely dead inside. It was only six o'clock at night. She waited until she heard the front door slam carelessly behind him before she let the tears fall. At least the weekend was over. With school starting again Finn would be at football practice for part of the day at least. She could put him off for a day or two until she figured out what to do.

* * *

 

"What's with the big stupid grin? Rachel finally let you get to third base?" Puck asked with a vaguely disgusted look on his face. If Finn and the others chose to assume it was due to thinking about going down on Rachel not imagining Rachel doing that to Finn well that was their mistake.

"Nope." Finn leans closer unable to help himself. "We went all. the. way."

"What?" Puck felt like throwing up. Rachel? Miss no sex till I'm twenty five had put out? For Finn? What alternate universe had he fallen into?

"Yup. You know her dads are gone, like, all the time right? Well this weekend I went over there and..." Finn made a vaguely lewd motion with his hips completely lacking any rhythm as usual and Puck felt bile rise in his throat.

"The fuck. How'd you talk her into it? Last I check she was barely letting you touch her boobs. Over the shirt." He kept tabs on that shit. What the hell had happened?

"Well you know I was getting so frustrated Dude. It was worse than dating Quinn. At least she'd, ya know, give me a hand job or whatever but Rachel man nada. And we've been dating for half the year and all summer. I figure it was about time. I put in the hours listening to all her bullshit Broadway stuff. When do I get mine huh? So I told her if she loved me she'd have sex with me and bada bing bada boom!"

Puck looked shocked and disgusted. "You...you fucker. You emotionally manipulative bastard! How could you do that to her? It was supposed it be fucking special and you just...you..." Puck let out a guttural growl and dived towards Finn laying him out with a hard right across the jaw. He followed his friend to the floor slamming his left hand in Finn's belly and getting in another good hit with his right before he felt Sam and Mike grab either of his arms and pull him up off the tall boy.

"Hey now! Settle down!" Coach Beiste stormed over to stand between the struggling Puckerman and the downed Finn. "What the Hell's going on here?"

"Fucker took Rachel's virginity." Puck took on a higher pitch mocking voice. "'If you love me you'll do it.'" Dropping back down into his normal range with an edge of rage coloring his words he lunged forward and only the strong hand of the Coach on his chest kept him from breaking Mike and Sam's grip on him. "Fucking bastard! You know Rachel. You know how she is. How fucking dare you use that against her?" He kicked out at Finn as the other boy started to groggily climb to his feet.

"Finn is that true? Or were you just talking smack in here?" The Coach asked with a disappointed look at Finn.

Puck stopped struggling waiting for the answer. Half his mind was still on Rachel, how she had to be feeling after being with Finn. Maybe she was happy, maybe she didn’t have any regrets…this was the girl that told the entire celibacy club that girls want sex too. But she was also nervous about it, even when they’d been dating and he’d gotten to second base with her, she’d been on edge and he hadn’t pushed to go any further, just letting his knuckles graze the side of her breast now and then.

When she’d relaxed around him she’d welcomed a little more touching, loved being held and kissed. He hoped Finn had the sense to at least make it good for her. And where the hell did Finn get off saying Rachel wouldn’t satisfy him at all when last week he’d been bragging about Rachel’s oral skills and lack of gag reflex?

“He’s a fucking liar,” Finn spat out the words. “Ever since he and Rachel broke up he’s been jealous and trying to split the two of us up.”

“That is such bullshit!” Once again Coach and the guys had to keep him from lunging at Finn. “I heard you. Everyone in the damn locker room heard you, lying motherfucker!”

“Puckerman, go cool off. Guys, take him out of here, get him calmed down, while I have a talk with Finn here.” Coach’s voice was quiet and even in a way that made everyone in the room take a step back. No one wanted to mess with Coach when she talked like that.

“Stay away from my girl Puck,” Finn called the warning from his position on the floor. “Or you’ll be sorry.”

“Oh I’m so scared,” Puck mocked on his way out. “Finessa’s gonna make me sorry.”

Sam and Mike eyed him, and Puck knew they were thinking of all the trouble he usually got in. It had gotten so if there was anything going wrong the cops would come to him first. He hadn’t done anything major yet, mostly due to Rachel and work taking up every bit of spare time he had. The constant support she’d been giving him, and understanding over how heartbroken he felt when Quinn had given up Beth had kept him from spending most of the summer drunk off his ass.

“Relax, I’m not gonna do anything stupid,” He told them. “I’ve got work. And Rachel would kill me if I got in any trouble. She and her dads, they’ve been talking to me, we’ve been trying to figure out if I can get visitation rights to Beth. Even if Quinn did give her up. I’m not doing anything to screw that up.”

“Okay man,” Mike nodded and Sam simply clapped him on the back in silent support.

“Hey, if you see AZ… tell him to give me a call okay?” Puck called after the two of them. “I won’t be able to get on my phone until after my shift.”

“You got it,” Sam nodded and reached into his pocket for his phone. “The way you and him and Rachel have been hanging together Finn’s lucky he had a doctor’s appointment today.”

Puck smirked to himself, “Yeah. He thinks Rachel’s pretty cool too.”

“Take it easy man,” Mike gave him a wave as the three of them parted ways at the parking lot.

“Take it easy,” Puck ground out the words and clenched his jaw as he got into his truck. Following that advice was going to be a lot harder than it sounded.

* * *

 

 

"Hey Rachel," Finn greeted her with a big kiss, sloppily pushing his tongue into her mouth and Rachel backed away. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Santana nudge Quinn and smirk. Finn was still talking, "...go back to your house and enjoy some time, you know, alone."

Rachel shook her head, "Finn do you love me?" She looked up at him thoughtfully watching his face as he tried to work out what she was asking exactly.

"Well yeah, I told you I do right?" He was looking around uncomfortably, and Rachel nodded to herself. He never had said it with his friends around and definitely never in front of any of the Glee kids, most of whom she hadn't seen unless they were Cheerios or football players.

"And would you still love me if I told you that I don't want to have sex with you again?" She kept her voice low, the only reason she'd brought the topic up was to see how he reacted when she asked the questions in front of his friends.

"Yeah but why wouldn't you want to have sex again, it was great," Finn wasn't getting it. "Of course we're gonna do it again, once you start you can't stop."

"Its not like eating Pringles," Rachel folded her arms defensively. "I don't want to have sex with you again."

"Why not?" Now he was irked and his voice was rising in spite of her keeping hers low. She was grateful they weren't near any of his friends or the Cheerios.

"Because I didn't enjoy it Finn," Rachel retorted icily. "It was painful and you made no effort to make sure I was enjoying it. And when you were done you just got off of me and left. You didn't even hold me."

"Maybe if you weren't so... you know...unable to like what I was doing," Finn began to bluster and curious Brittany, Quinn and Santana drew closer.

Rachel eyed them and tilted her head at Finn, "So you're saying that your efforts were perfectly satisfactory? You told me you'd never done it before. How would you know?"

"Because he fuckin' lied," Santana's drawl was cool as ice. "He fucked me last year when you were dating St. James."

Now she knew what it meant to see red, how hard it was for Noah to even think straight when this happened to him. With a great effort Rachel took a deep breath and regarded Finn, "So you lied to me. And then I had to tell you to wear a condom." She took another breath, "And it is your contention that if I were not frigid I would have enjoyed what you were doing?" She looked at Santana, "Exactly how much foreplay would you say is appropriate for a girl’s first time? Even if she doesn't expect to orgasm, enough to make sure she's prepared and it won't be excruciating?"

"Huh, first timers..." Santana had to think and it was Quinn that answered.

"Puck took at least a half an hour with me, he might have gotten me pregnant and it might have hurt a bit but he tried to make it good," The icy blonde said clearly. "He made sure I came at least once before we had sex."

"Thank you," Rachel nodded curtly and looked at Finn, "From the time you got my agreement, by telling me that if I loved you I would do this, to the time you fucked me, I count about ten minutes, most of which was you trying to put on the condom."

"Seriously dude?" Santana gaped at Finn and then looked at Rachel, "How the fuck are you walking?"

"I went to the doctor yesterday," Rachel said coldly. "He's not big enough to tear me thankfully. So apart from the pain of entry and his...fucking I'll be fine." She shrugged, "I dance en pointe, I'm used to pain." She sighed, "Will you excuse us, we still need to finish this conversation."

"Yeah," Quinn nodded and tugged the other two of the unholy triumvirate away.

Rachel looked at Finn, "So I'm guessing that if we don't continue to have sex that you don't want a relationship with me."

"Fuck no I don't," He sneered then. "I thought you'd fall into bed with me, you were panting for it last year. But you strung me along for rest of the school year and half the summer. All that time with your stupid outfits and your talking and being seen with you and we didn't fuck. Now that we finally have you don't want to anymore? Because it wasn't good for you?"

She took a deep breath and nodded, "All right." Rachel smiled coldly and wondered how she'd ever been so stupid and so blind. "Then we're done." She turned on her heel and began to walk away. Unfortunately, her path took her past Santana, Brittany and Quinn, "Ladies, enjoy the rest of your weekend. I doubt we’ll be seeing much of each other outside of school."

"But Rachel, you said I could come over and hang out with you on Friday after school," Brittany reminded her. "You said your pool was warmer and we could go topless and get no tan lines and we’d do homework after."

"If you still want to come over you're welcome," Rachel smiled at the girl who'd been nothing but nice to her. "But Finn and I are no longer dating."

"Why would that matter?" Brittany was obviously confused and Rachel smiled again.

"It doesn't to me Britt," She said quietly. "I'm sure Santana and Quinn can explain why it should. But if you want to, I'll see you Friday."

Azimio caught her arm in a gentle grip as she strode past, halting her progress momentarily, "Hey Rachel, you ain't stayin'?"

"No AZ," She shook her head. "Finn and I have broken up. As I expect the next step will be to egg my house, TP my yard and fork my lawn I'm going to move any and all valuables such as vehicles into shelter."

"Shit," Azimio sighed. "Does Puck know?"

Rachel shook her head, "We're supposed to hang out tonight. I'll tell him then." She patted his arm, "I'll see you around AZ."

Azimio watched her go and took out his phone.

* * *

 

**Hair Of the Dog**

He was going to fucking kill the son-of-a-bitch, no disrespect meant to Mrs. Hudson who he was sure didn’t realize just how much of a jackass her offspring was. He’d managed to keep from punching the door of his truck, barely, once he got off the phone with Azimio about what had happened at Britt’s house after practice.

Azimio had filled him in about what had happened while Puck had been at work, and just how it was that Finn had gotten Rachel alone at her house over the weekend. “Man, I don’t know much about girls, but when Santana’s looking shocked and disgusted, it ain’t a good sign.”

“No shit,” Puck growled. “She say anything to you? Rae I mean,” He clarified.

“Only that she broke up with Finn. She said the two of you are hanging out tonight?” Azimio was rustling around in something, most likely a bag of chips, as he talked.

“Yeah I’m on my way over to her house,” Puck nodded. “Just getting cleaned up first.”

“Something happen at practice?” AZ asked, “Only because Finn wasn’t moving quite like usual around the pool.”

“He was mouthing off, talking shit about Rae and I lost it,” He had to take a deep breath to keep the red from dripping over his eyes and throttle back the rage. “He pulled the oldest con in the book on her AZ. Said ‘if she loved him’…” He growled in disgust. “And you know Rae, she thinks she loves him, thinks he loves her. Never mind the way he’s been behaving all summer, acting like she’s not good enough for him.”

“Shit,” AZ sounded very irked with the quarterback. “She said she was figuring that he’d be egging her house and all that other shit, so first thing she was gonna do was move the cars into the garage.”

“Yeah, do me a favor, call around the team and let them know that if Finn calls them, they aren’t interested in messing with Rae’s house.” Puck nearly stomped on the gas in his fury at the thought. “You tell ‘em that Finn’s really screwed up this time and we aren’t backing his ass anymore.”

“You know some of them will still want to screw with her,” AZ had reminded him.

“Yeah, but a little reminder of just who can kick their asses if they do…” Puck smirked evilly. “And just how painful practice can be if we decide to put some power into our hits.”

“Might work.” AZ had chuckled. “I’ll start makin’ calls.”

“Thanks. I’m on my way to Rae’s now.” Puck had hung up and concentrated grimly on driving the exact speed limit all the way over to Rachel’s house.

When he got there it was past eight, and Finn had obviously already been by since the front of the house was covered with eggs and the trees were festooned with toilet paper. Pulling his truck into the drive way he waved at Hiram and LeRoy and jogged up to the door. “Hey, sorry to be so late. I was…trying to keep this from happening.” He gestured towards the mess in disgust. “If you want I can get your hose and get the worse of it off the house.”

“If you’ll do that Noah, we’ll get you set up with some roasted chicken and trimmings afterwards,” Hiram nodded. “I’ll let Rachel know you’re here.” His dark eyes, so much like Rachel’s were thoughtful as he gazed at Puck, “Are you all right?”

“Just pissed off is all sir,” Puck took a deep breath. “I’ll be okay.”

He spent the next twenty minutes hosing down the siding of the house and spraying the TP so it would be heavy enough to fall off the trees. Once it was dry in the morning he’d come by and rake it up. By the time he was done and the hose put away he was starved and Rachel’s hug was the only thing that could have kept him from devouring the food like a ravenous dog.

“So Rae,” He began once he’d finished eating. He’d spent most of the meal watching her face as she spoke with her dads. They might have to travel for their work a lot but they always made sure to be home when school started and did their best to confine their travel to short trips. “You want to tell me what’s goin’ on?”

“I broke up with Finn,” Rachel’s prim and proper voice couldn’t quite disguise her feelings. “He decided that if I wasn’t his girlfriend that he could resume egging my house and all that goes along with that.”

“Uh huh,” Puck nodded. “I got that. You okay?”

“It was my decision, not his,” She shrugged.

“Yeah,” He tilted his head. “You okay?”

She sighed, finally accepting that she wasn’t going to fool him anymore than she was her dads and nodded. “I will be, eventually. I just hate feeling like such an idiot. I believed him.”

“Why shouldn’t you,” Puck wanted to know. “He was acting like he did, at least for a while.”

“Because when I’m looking back at the summer and the school year, it seems like it’s obvious that he didn’t,” Rachel retorted in frustration. “He…he’d say he loved me, but never where anyone could hear. And he’d…”

“He’d act like you were the one at fault, when you didn’t agree with whatever he wanted,” Puck nodded. “He’d put you down too, in these little ways, like telling you that you look pretty even if your clothes aren’t quite right?” Rachel blinked in surprise and it was obvious, to him at least, that she hadn’t thought anyone else noticed.

Puck shrugged, “Finn’s never comfortable unless someone is looking up to him. Or thinks his opinion is the one that’s most important. He acts like he’s clueless, this dopey jock, all harmless and nice. But the shit he does…that’s what you gotta pay attention to.”

“How do you…” Rachel frowned and rubbed the back of her neck, her expression frustrated.

“Hey my Dad did the same thing, all these little slaps, breaking my mom down, for years, before he y’know, escalated and started with the physical violence.” Puck didn’t like to think about that but when he remembered his father it was all too easy to see the similarities with Finn. “He’d do it to me too. Needed to be the big man. But he was such a piece of shit the only way he could was to make everyone else feel small.”

“And Finn does that too,” Rachel said quietly. “Tells me I’m pretty, even though I don’t have the body type for a bikini. Tells me he loves me, but only when no one popular can hear him.”

“Yeah,” Puck sighed. “You wanna tell me about this weekend?”

Her dads stood then, kissing her head, “We’re going to go and watch a movie baby star.” LeRoy told her quietly. “So you don’t have to go through it in front of us, again.”

Puck watched as the two of them headed down to the family room and looked at Rachel, “So they know?”

“I had to tell them, I needed to go to the doctor,” Rachel explained, turning pink. “It was one of the more embarrassing conversations I’ve had.”

“I can’t even imagine,” Puck wondered if it was on the same level as telling his mother he’d gotten Quinn pregnant and doubted it. He took Rachel’s hand and gave her a little squeeze. “You don’t gotta tell me about it, if you don’t want to.” He added after a minute of silence. “Guess I just want to know how mad at him I should be.”

* * *

 

The answer turned out to be pretty damn mad. Finn hadn’t bothered to take hardly any time with her hadn’t even made her come first so at least that was something good with the experience. He’d climbed on top of her, rutted in her like a pig and then rolled off and gone on his way. “Fucking s,” Puck growled to himself. “I’m an ass but at least I’m not a fucking selfish prick.”

Rachel was watching him thoughtfully, “Quinn said you were careful with her, made sure she had an orgasm before, even if she didn’t during.”

“Well yeah,” Puck snarled reflexively. “Ladies first you know? If you can’t manage that you got no business…” He forced his hands to unclench from their fists. “It just ain’t right to not take care of your girl is all.” He said finally.

“He didn’t seem interested in that,” Rachel shook her head, her voice quiet. “He said it was my fault that I couldn’t enjoy what he was doing.”

“Oh fuck that noise with a rubber dick!” Puck exploded, “He’s a moron. He’s a selfish jackass. You know how to get yourself off, it’s not like you don’t know what an orgasm is. All he has to do is pay attention and take care of you but he couldn’t be bothered to learn.”

Rachel was giggling at him and that took some of the starch out of his aggravation, “Fuck that noise with a rubber dick?”

“Hell,” He shook his head. “Rae, baby, I’ve never met a more passionate woman in my life. You throw yourself into everything you do. If you weren’t feeling passionate with him, weren’t feeling interested in what he was doing… that’s his fault not yours.”

“He said I should relax. That I didn’t have any reason to be scared or nervous,” Rachel recalled quietly. “But it felt like I couldn’t breathe.”

“When he was on top of you or when you were making out,” Puck sat and took her hand again.

“Both,” She shook her head. “He was just so big, and pressing down on me and his hands felt heavy…”

“And you couldn’t relax, so you couldn’t enjoy yourself, so of course you weren’t going to…” He took a deep breath again and let it out slowly. “Rae, not for nothing…but when we were going out, you were nervous right? When I tried to get to second base?”

“Yes,” She nodded. “But you backed off…and you kissed me and you didn’t push… after that…” She considered for a moment. “You would touch me… but you were careful, nothing that was grabby or made me feel like I was suffocating.”

“Yeah, because you’d be more relaxed, have more fun with me if you weren’t scared,” Puck nodded. “But I got some touching in that you seemed to like, right?”

She blushed a bit as she nodded again, “It felt good. Especially when we’d sit on the couch, you wouldn’t grab, just ease your palm around my side until you were touching some but not pushing on my chest.”

“Yeah, because every time we were lying down you started getting this little hitch in your breath,” Puck reminded her. “You’d get that little hitch when I was half on top of you and you’d stiffen up. So I started to make sure we were on our sides, or sitting up. Because it relaxed you.”

“But you didn’t try to get under my skirt or my shirt or anything,” She seemed a bit confused by that and he grinned at her.

“Sure I did,” He chuckled. “Got my hand up your thigh, got to feel that silky skin, my palm on the small of your back and around to your stomach… and you didn’t get that hitch once so I knew it was okay.”

“We only dated that week,” Rachel murmured. “But you still remember all that.”

“Well yeah,” Puck looked at her, wondering if she’d lost her mind. “That was pretty much the best week of my life Rae.”

* * *

 

When school started she expected things to be awkward. Kurt and Mercedes had pretty much ignored her for the summer. Artie had been buried in video games, Tina and Mike had been counselors at a camp so they weren’t around. Matt had moved away and she hadn’t been introduced to the new boy on the football team though Noah spoke well of him.

Brittany, Quinn and Santana were still something of an unholy triumvirate but Brittany was perfectly willing to be friendly with Rachel. Quinn and Santana were polite, a bit sarcastically on Santana’s part and with a chill on Quinn’s but they weren’t throwing slushies at her anymore.

Typically Mr. Schuester didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary when the first glee club rehearsal came around midway through the week. Finn was still acting as if she was the one in the wrong.

Puck thought she hadn’t heard about it but she knew that Finn had tried to make trouble for him. He’d told the police that Puck had assaulted him and it had only been the rest of the team and Coach Beiste lying on Puck’s behalf that had kept him from getting arrested and sent to Juvie. Coach had apparently made it clear to Puck that she would not be doing anything like that again, no matter what his provocation had been.

Rachel had brought the coach a plate of cookies for her office and made more for each teammate who had lied for Puck, including the new boy Sam. He’d seemed a bit surprised but he’d been grateful and put them in his locker to bring home to his brother and sister.

“So what have we all been up to this summer?” Mr. Schuester asked all of them. “Anyone have anything prepared? Or ideas for the competitions this year?” He looked around, “Besides Rachel I mean?” His smile was gently condescending as Rachel put her hand down, “You always have ideas Rachel, I’m just hoping to get everyone else more involved.” He scanned the room, “And where’s Puck? Or is he not joining us this year?”

She’d nodded but hadn’t volunteered to perform which had clearly surprised him. She’d decided she’d had enough of the popularity contests in Glee. She never won them anyway so why bother. If she didn’t like to sing so much she probably wouldn’t have shown up this year. So she’d compete for solos and she’d work hard and when she graduated she’d leave everyone except her actual friends behind.

The knock on the door was a bit of a surprise, to everyone except for her, nobody ever interrupted them unless Coach Sue wanted to bug Mr. Schue about something. But the knock was followed by the door opening and Noah entering with his usual swagger, accompanied by AZ and Sam, “Hey Mr. Schue, sorry I’m late, I was corralling these two. Just about got ‘em convinced this is some fun shit.”

“Well, welcome,” Mr. Schue beamed at them jovially as Puck took a seat next to Rachel and Azimio and Sam stood a bit uncertainly. “Do either of you have any experience with choir? Of any kind?”

“Just church,” AZ admitted and Sam shook his head.

“Only reason I’m here is Puck heard me singing in the shower after practice and convinced me to give it a shot.” The blond boy admitted.

“Well would the two of you mind singing something, alone please, and we’ll get an idea of your voices?” Mr. Schuester was clearly not thinking of how uncertain the two boys would be. “It doesn’t have to be anything special, just something you like so we can hear you.”

Sam looked even more nervous if that was possible while AZ fidgeted and Rachel smiled at him encouragingly. “You’ll be fine Azimio. How about that song you were goofing around with at Brittany’s pool party? Lean On Me?”

“Oh, hey, yeah I can do that,” AZ nodded in relief. “I don’t know the music though.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Puck stood and grabbed one of the guitars off the wall. “I remember that one pretty good. I can play for you.”

“What about you Sam? Is there anything you like that you could sing?” Rachel looked at the other boy. “I play the piano so if you need an accompanist I’d be happy to help.”

“Uh… guess I could do Garth Brooks… you know The River?” He asked uncertainly and Rachel beamed at him.

“It’s a lovely song. I can certainly play it for you,” She nodded.

Puck grinned at her and nodded to AZ, “Go to man, whenever you’re ready.”

* * *

 

**I’m Still Here**

Puck grinned as Sam finished and nudged AZ. Kurt was staring at Sam openly not that he’d have much of a chance. Sam was as straight as Finn was. AZ smirked and shook his head, giving Sam a high five as the shorter boy took a seat nearby and Rachel returned to her chair next to Puck.

“Well I’m glad to welcome the two of you to Glee Club,” Schuester was excited. “I was asking before you came in if anyone else has anything prepared. So far no one’s answered.”

“Yeah Mr. Schue, I’ve got something,” Puck nodded and grinned as Rachel gave him a surprised smile.

“Really Noah?” She gave a little clap of her hands, “I love when you sing.”

“Yeah,” He smiled at her. “It’s not like, romantic or anything, but… it sorta fits you know?”

“Ah,” She nodded her understanding and he grinned. He could always count on her for support. Finn was sneering in his corner and Puck decided to ignore him. If the jerk wanted to continue his dick ways then he could just suck it all alone. Finn wasn’t going to get any sympathy from Puck.

Grabbing the guitar he’d kept after playing for AZ Puck took his place in front of the club. “Got something you ain't heard from me," Puck grinned and pulled up a stool. "Ain't anybody heard this from me before so I hope you'll take it as a gesture of me tryin' to you know, grow an' shit."

"I see," Mr. Schuester's voice wasn't precisely warm but it wasn't cold either. Puck guessed he’d heard that Finn wasn’t thrilled with him. But Puck had bought a lot of credit with the coach by bringing new blood into the club. "Well let's hear what you've got."

Puck took a moment to tune the guitar and nodded to Rachel, she hadn't heard him play this before, he'd been practicing at home so it would be a surprise to her too. She'd been doing the same thing so he figured they'd both been trying to bring something new to the table. “So this is…something a little older. But the movie its from, and the video of it… brings a lot of stuff home for me. Lotta stuff makes me angry, makes me wanna scream or fight. Tryin’ to change how I react to things, an’ its not easy.” He began to play the opening chords and heard Rachel’s gasp of recognition as he began to sing.

" _I am a question to the world_  
 _Not an answer to be heard_  
 _Or a moment that's held in your arms_  
 _And what do you think you'd ever say?_  
 _I won't listen anyway_  
 _You don't know me_  
 _And I'll never be what you want me to be_ ,"

Puck let all the frustration with his reputation and image flood into his voice, everything he wished he could change. All the rage he still felt whenever he thought about his dad walking out, the pain of losing Beth, and the fury he felt when thought of Schuester's refusal to see how much he felt for Rachel last year, dismissing his feelings the way everyone else had, even Rachel at first. Until she’d realized he wasn’t just some jerk, he was still hers underneath it all.

" _And what do you think you'd understand?_  
 _I'm a boy, no, I'm a man_  
 _You can't take me and throw me away_  
 _And how can you learn what's never shown?_  
 _Yeah, you stand here on your own_  
 _They don't know me_  
 _Cause I'm not here…_ "

He let his voice roar with the chorus, breathing like Rachel had taught him and filling the room with his voice.

" _And I want a moment to be real_  
 _Wanna touch things I don't feel_  
 _Wanna hold on and feel I belong_  
 _And how can the world want me to change?_  
 _They're the ones that stay the same_  
 _They don't know me_  
 _Cause I'm not here…_ "

Puck looked at Rachel and his friends, and sang the next verse directly to them. They knew him even if no one else did.

" _And you see the things they never see_  
 _All you wanted I could be_  
 _Now you know me and I'm not afraid_  
 _And I want to tell you who I am_  
 _Can you help me be a man?_  
 _They can't break me_  
 _As long as I know who I am_

_And I want a moment to be real_  
 _Wanna touch things I don't feel_  
 _Wanna hold on and feel I belong_  
 _And how can the world want me to change?_  
 _They're the ones that stay the same_  
 _They can't see me_  
 _But I'm still here,_ "

He looked at Mr. Schue and put every bit of raw emotion into the next verse and chorus, he'd be in glee and do sports and there was no way anyone was going to stop him from having the life he wanted. Maybe one day he could even make Rachel his girl, if he worked hard enough. If there was one thing he knew how to do it was fight for what he wanted.

" _They can't tell me who to be_  
 _Cause I'm not what they see_  
 _Yeah, the world is still sleepin'_  
 _While I keep on dreamin' for me_  
 _And their words are just whispers and lies_  
 _That I'll never believe_

_And I want a moment to be real_   
_Wanna touch things I don't feel_   
_Wanna hold on and feel I belong_   
_And how can they say i'll never change?_   
_They're the ones that stay the same_   
_I'm the one now_   
_'Cause I'm still here_

_I'm the one now_  
 _Cause I'm still here_  
 _I'm still here_  
 _I'm still here_  
 _I'm still here,_ "

Puck finished the last chorus and repeated the line softly, the words were a reminder and a promise and a threat, he wasn't ever going to give up and go away. " _I'm still here..._ "

The stunned silence that filled the room was a little spooky but then his friends let out some whoops and hollers and applause. Artie wheeled his way forward and grinned at him. "Nicely done Puckerman,"

“Yeah well, wanted to show I haven’t been completely wasting my time this summer.” He shrugged, “You got something you need the guitar for?”

Artie grinned, “Yeah, Rachel’s got a surprise, talked me into being her backup so you could be surprised too.”

“Well this should be fun,” Puck grinned and looked at Rachel who was tugging at her skirt a bit nervously. “Gonna shock everyone Rae?”

“I’m hoping to surprise a few people,” She admitted. “If Mr. Schuester doesn’t mind?”

“Of course not,” The teacher smiled. “I count on you Rachel, to bolster us. I just like to remind everyone else that they should make an effort, and not just depend upon you to always be ready.”

“Thanks Mr. Schue,” Rachel grinned and nodded at Artie. The music was familiar and Puck frowned, barely placing it before Rachel began to sing.

“ _You must understand though the touch of your hand_  
 _Makes my pulse react_  
 _That it's only the thrill of boy meeting girl_  
 _Opposites attract_  
 _It's physical_  
 _Only logical_  
 _You must try to ignore that it means more than that!_ ”

He’d never have thought Rachel could sing as well a Tina Turner, wouldn’t have even been able to make the comparison in his mind. But she was making the song hers, wailing out the chorus and singing each verse with a defiance of anything that would make into a victim of emotions again.

When she finally finished singing he whistled loudly, clapping along with AZ, Tina and Brittany while the others joined them belatedly, except for Finn who simply pouted over in his chair.

“Well, that was certainly stretching your repertoire, both of you,” Mr. Schue smiled. “I’m looking forward to an interesting year.” He studied Finn’s pouty face for a moment before looking at Puck, “I’ll admit, I’ve been thinking of taking a new approach to solos this year. We’ll audition for them, as always, but if you win by the popular vote and I don’t feel you’re going to give the best performance, you’ll have to prove to me you perform consistently.”

Puck exchanged a look with Rachel and she arched an eyebrow thoughtfully, “Mr. Schue, maybe you could have solos that are suited to different voice types?” She suggested, “Not every solo is suited to a soprano after all. There are some gorgeous songs for baritones or altos rather than tenors.”

“Also something I’ve been considering,” The teacher nodded. “Principal Figgins wants us to perform at pep rallies this year as well as some assemblies so we’ll have chances for more solos that won’t effect our chances in the competitions.”

“That’ll be fun,” Brittany was excited and Puck grinned.

“Be an interesting year.” He agreed, wrapping an arm around Rachel’s shoulders.

* * *

 

She’d made a considerable effort to not be so demanding about solos. Mr. Schuester had taken her aside and suggested that while he knew she could perform anything, solos that were more suited to Tina or Santana, might be something she would want to back off on. His reminder that they were a team and that everyone needed a chance to shine or they felt as if they weren’t valued was something she’d taken to heart.

She and Quinn and Mercedes still competed fiercely for solos. But she wasn’t pushing to be Finn’s partner in duets at all anymore, leaving those parts for the other girls. Noah had taken her aside after a month or so of that and asked her flat out if she was feeling all right.

“I’m fine Noah,” She smiled up at him and leaned into his side. “I’m just…not eager to be Finn’s leading lady and if they are then more power to them.” Rachel shrugged, “I’d rather sing a duet with you. Or do a solo. And if they get to sing with him and get those parts then they’re less likely to win an argument if I want a solo myself.”

“Okay…” He frowned, “Why don’t we work on something then. Something to show Mr. Schue that we can perform as well as they can. Finn isn’t practicing as much and Quinn doesn’t have the fullness in her voice that you do. You’re better.”

“Well yes,” She nodded and he grinned. He’d told her once that he loved her confidence, even if she did get a little crazy with it. “Mr. Schue just asked me to pick my battles. But if you think we could perform a duet better than they can then let’s show them.”

“You’re on,” Puck had grinned and kissed her firmly on the mouth. “By the way Rae, I’m going to start asking you out.”

“I’m not… Noah, you know that…” She’d almost stuttered and he’d taken her hand and gave it a squeeze to calm her down.

“Hey, it’s not like that.” He’d looked at her steadily. “Yeah, do I want sex with you? Duh, I’m a horny teenage boy. But if it isn’t right, if you’re not ready, then I’ll have screwed up my last chance with you and I’m not gonna do that. I want for us to date. Okay?”

“Like we did last year? Only without the baby drama and breaking up?” Rachel asked softly.

“Yeah, like last year, but better,” He nodded.

“Okay,” She smiled. “You can ask me out.”

* * *

 

He wasn’t sure when he’d fallen for her. Maybe during that week they’d dated. Maybe after when she was there for him and kept him from going crazy the summer after he lost Beth. Maybe it was when they won Nationals the first time and she’d thrown herself in his arms and kissed him in front of the entire club and the audience.

He’d managed, somehow, to pass his classes and get into school in New York while Rachel won a scholarship to Julliard. And he’d managed to help Rachel stay sane through every audition, cattle call and all the other insanity stage work called for.

He was making something of a living working at a garage during the day and playing guitar and singing in clubs at night, at least once he was over twenty one and could legally get in. The two of them crammed themselves into a tiny studio apartment, complete with murphy bed and miniscule bathroom. Damn shower was so small he could barely wash in it.

Rachel got a small part. And killed it.

Then she got another. And another. And then a bigger part.

And she nailed that one too.

Then someone heard one of the songs they’d written together and offered the two of them a little showcase if they had enough original material.

He marked that as the moment they made it. Because they caught someone else’s eye. And this guy was big on Broadway. Gay as the flowers in May but a sweetheart. Even if he did keep looking at Puck like he was a steak.

Still, working the show with him got them on the radar of other big wigs.

It wasn’t easy. They fought about stupid shit, like if fish was really a vegetarian meal and why eggs weren’t vegan and the temperature in the apartment.

But the big stuff, they’d worked all that out years ago. They knew how to talk to each other. How to say when something was wrong.

And they were still around.

She was still the one.

**Author's Note:**

> Authors Note: So this is something I got started on a while back and thanks to LightningFuryStrike13 for her writing Puck's initial reaction to hearing what Finn has done with Rachel. Once she gave me that piece I managed to finish the rest. Hope you all enjoy!


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